i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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