That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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