out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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