Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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