it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
