some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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