The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
