even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
