I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
