i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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