im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I have post one night stand depression
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