totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
These tits shall not be calmed
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize