There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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