I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
