there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
