I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
