Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
