i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize