Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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