Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
