Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
