Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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