worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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