there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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