We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
