i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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