Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
my liver is dry heaving
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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