I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
