so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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