wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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