We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
