I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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