shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
