I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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