No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
