Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
