Christians are straight up FREAKS
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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