im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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