We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
