I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
