How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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