I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I touched a dick in church today
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
