So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
