it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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