I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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