it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
