she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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