he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
