this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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