you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize