That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
