have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
