So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
