sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
