never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
