My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
