I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
