I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
