do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
